The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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