i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
