Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
