uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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