OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
