hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
