So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
