I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
