The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
