we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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