5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
