Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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