I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
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Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
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Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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