U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize