hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
