Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
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I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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