I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize