Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You're so nebulous sometimes
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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