She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
