how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
