check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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