I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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