the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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