so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
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I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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