When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
