I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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