My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
