Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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