He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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