Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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