tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
