i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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