found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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