I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
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she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
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Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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