Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
