I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
