Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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