Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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