If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
