no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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