She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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