All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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