i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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