What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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