We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
