ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
