Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
