Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
