Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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