Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize