Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
