you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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