well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
