He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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