We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
