well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
