allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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