im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
