He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
