I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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