I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
