The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
