you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
