The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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