Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
